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I was up all night again last night.  I have so much in my mind and it's a mess.  It doesn't matter how organize I can be I can still easily lose myself in my thoughts.  I don't know if that makes any sense but that is my mood at the moment "Lost"!

I love watching movies and its all that I have been doing lately.  My mother believes that I might be trying to escape from reality by watching movies.  She said she was joking but it really made me think.  Maybe there is some truth to her comedic attempt. Maybe I really don't know myself as well as I thought. 

Sex and more Sex!

Well I understand that Sex should be about the emotional journey and it should be spiritual... But if your partner just lays there and you are doing all the work then all the emotional and spiritual stuff just went out the window!

To have good sex you should have the skills needed.  You have to be imaginative and sometimes a little freaky.... nothing wrong with that... hehehe!  We have needs or wants that we want our partner to fulfill.  If that is fulfilled then the emotional journey is worth taking.

Sex to me is so much better when its with someone who you truly have feelings for.  It doesn't have to be love.  Attraction is also strong. But if you want sex to be fulfilling and meaningful then find someone you love.  Attraction can just do so much.  Attraction is fun but that can fade easily and the person you were with will eventually just disappear and you better hope that that person is not a friend because even your friendship can be destroyed.

Love in other hand will not easily fade away.  Because when it is gone.... it hurts.  I know we do not want to feel hurt.  But sometimes the hurt keeps us coming back.  Hurt is one of the emotions that keeps us committed to the people we love and to ourselves. I am not talking about abuse or any of that horrible stuff.  Because if you are in an abusive relationship you know what the pain is like and you know you should get out... but some people don't.  I won't get into that right now.  But i hope you know the difference. If you do... then I believe you now have the tools to take this to the next level.  Now sex has become a part of your spiritual journey.

Okey i'm not saying "attraction sex" is bad.  I am merely explaining the differences of the two in my own opinion. I could be wrong but it doesn't matter.  What really matters is what you believe in.  What matters is what you think you deserve. But if your belief takes you to the wrong path then at least be mature enough to take responsiblity.  Nothing is ever easy..... but at least try to be someone you can be proud of.  peace!!