Doing the right thing is always so damn hard to do. I have been trying
to practice this type of living for the past 2 years now. I am proud of
some of the things that I have accomplished and the people that i have
helped. I am most specially proud of the relationship I built with
friends and sad for the friends I've lost... not because of death but
because of the lack of trust.
The only thing that gave me the drive to always try to do the right
thing is to always remember that I am human. Even though I want to be
perfect I know that I can not.
I still do stupid things. I still hurt the ones I love and care
about... even though its not my intention. But I always try to make it
right. I also know I should forgive people for what they have done to
me... but it is not easy. Not because I don't want to do it... but its
because I am not ready.
I love taking the easy way out to resolve my issues. When I say easy
way out.... I mean whats going to make me feel good now. Just to
temporally forget my problems. I pretty much just drug myself to forget
about it and not deal with it.
I still have some of those bad habits... Not the drug part.... I don't
do that anymore. But I am not going to sit here and lie that i haven't
thought about it. I like to believe that I am stronger now because of
experience.
When I speak of this to some people specially friends some of them tend
to remind me of what I have done in the past. They make it seem like I
can never change. Like its impossible or something. I almost believed
them. But then I realize their lives are no better than mine. They have
issues and they cover it by blaming other people instead of facing up
to it. Some even hurt other people just so they feel better about
themselves. OMG!! This sounds totally like me a couple years ago.
I think I have grown! My faith is stronger and the line I walk seems
straighter. I've let a lot of damaging things go specially the things
that i have no control of. I am closer to my family than ever and most
importantly I have gained a lot of their trust back.
But even though it is wonderful now. The road I had to take was not an
easy one. It is frustrating and the challenges are always a constant
battle to be fought. But just like a lion in battle.... I have learned
to roar!!
peace!!
Comments (4)
...reflects how my mind/emotions have been lately, I dunno! haha
why do i need it, i can reply to you this way =P