I have a lot to be thankful of.  I'd mention them all but there is to many in my list.  I will give you my top one for this year.
I would have to say my Mom.  She has not once abandoned me.  2009 has not been kind to me at all.  But through its darkness my mother was there to light up my path. I'm not gonna go in detail but believe me when I say my mom really pulled through this year for me.  I LOVE YOU MOM!! 

Here is a video of my friend Audrey and her daughter.  I know were just joking around but It was nice to see them both in one of my crazy videos.  Its about what they are Thankful of this year. 
ENJOY

My cousin Dan lost his faith in our champion!! Pacquiao VS Cotto!

I had a good conversation with a friend today.  I was at buffalo wild wings talking to her on the phone while drinking a tall glass of Blue moon.. hehehe!  She told me that she noticed i have been drinking more than usual.  I laughed and said I don't know what you are talking about. I was really honest about the response I gave her. I really did not know what she was talking about until I had a moment to think and look back at 2 weeks into my life.  I have been drinking more. To be more specific... last night i finished a bottle or red wine and also the day before that.  last saturday i went out with 2 of my best friends clubbing to celebrate my brithday.  I think i drank about 15 beers that night. 

She also said I'm probably thinking to much.  She thinks that I am magnifying my problems to the point where i gave it life. Because I gave it life I lost control and helped it evolve into pain.  She believes that I drink to numb myself from that pain.

I told her she is over reacting about this.  Then she said..... she wishes she over reacted with her father before he  passed away and maybe he would still be alive today.  Her father was an alcoholic.  He died because of the complications that came with his addiction.  I said I'm sorry about her father.  She then said.... I got though it with a lot of work and sacrifices, but if it happens again to someone I love and care about... I don't know if I could get through it again.

Our conversation ended by me saying I have to go cause my mom is calling.  She wasn't really calling.  Why did I do that?  I don't understand.  Why did I lie to her?  She is probably going to read this and I'm really sorry I did that.

Doing the right thing is always so damn hard to do. I have been trying to practice this type of living for the past 2 years now. I am proud of some of the things that I have accomplished and the people that i have helped. I am most specially proud of the relationship I built with friends and sad for the friends I've lost... not because of death but because of the lack of trust.

The only thing that gave me the drive to always try to do the right thing is to always remember that I am human. Even though I want to be perfect I know that I can not.

I still do stupid things. I still hurt the ones I love and care about... even though its not my intention. But I always try to make it right. I also know I should forgive people for what they have done to me... but it is not easy. Not because I don't want to do it... but its because I am not ready.

I love taking the easy way out to resolve my issues. When I say easy way out.... I mean whats going to make me feel good now. Just to temporally forget my problems. I pretty much just drug myself to forget about it and not deal with it.

I still have some of those bad habits... Not the drug part.... I don't do that anymore. But I am not going to sit here and lie that i haven't thought about it. I like to believe that I am stronger now because of experience.

When I speak of this to some people specially friends some of them tend to remind me of what I have done in the past. They make it seem like I can never change. Like its impossible or something. I almost believed them. But then I realize their lives are no better than mine. They have issues and they cover it by blaming other people instead of facing up to it. Some even hurt other people just so they feel better about themselves. OMG!! This sounds totally like me a couple years ago.

I think I have grown! My faith is stronger and the line I walk seems straighter. I've let a lot of damaging things go specially the things that i have no control of. I am closer to my family than ever and most importantly I have gained a lot of their trust back.

But even though it is wonderful now. The road I had to take was not an easy one. It is frustrating and the challenges are always a constant battle to be fought. But just like a lion in battle.... I have learned to roar!!

peace!!